I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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