i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
