Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
