Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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