After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
