Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
