you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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