how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
