i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
