Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Barsexuality is the new black.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
