People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
