yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
