why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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