she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
