with your own penis?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize