so explain again why im purple
no
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
