last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
