5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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