I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i drank out of a bidet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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