apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
honey bunches of taint.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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