there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
