I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
