is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
