Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize