What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
