just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
