Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
