Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would pick up someone in the library
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
