I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she looked like the before picture.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
