I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
