Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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