Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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