would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
