Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
