she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
