I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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