I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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