I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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