Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize