his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
