So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
