The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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