After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
