I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
