Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
