think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
