My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
