def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
