I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
