I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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