what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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