Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
