Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
