Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
