btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
