So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
