Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
