So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
