Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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