Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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